Piercing and Personal Boundaries

I received a private message on my Tribalectic account:
Hi Elayne! First off let me begin by telling you what an honor it is to be writing you this PM. I admire both your work and your outlook on life and I love The Piercing Bible!
I'm a 34-year-old nurse and single mom. My man is wonderful in every aspect with the exception that he is so opposed to piercing and any form of body mod. I currently have 10 tattoos and piercings in my navel and helix. I'm wanting my nipples done so badly and I'm afraid I'm going to push him over the edge if I do. (I love your off center navels BTW.) I've already told him it's my body, I'm not married to him so I refuse to ask for permission to do anything. Any insight? Any advice? I love him and this is really the only issue we butt heads on. Thank you so much in advance for your time in reading this. You're truly an inspiration to me and I'm so glad to be able to communicate with you through the Tribe. I hope to meet you one day. With that said, have a great night! Thanks, L.
Hi L., Thanks for your message. That's a tough one, but I'm glad to see that you so clear on your own boundaries about this subject. Goodness if you have 10 tattoos and other piercings, I can't imagine it should matter that much if you had another hole or two. Then again, I know some people simply don't understand piercing. I've received some feedback from people who have read my book--individuals that weren't personally interested in the subject. A number of them said that my book helped them to understand why people want to be pierced, and one even said she had never wanted to get one before, but after reading my book she felt inspired to get a body piercing!

Book Commentary

I received this commentary from a personal friend. What makes it post-worthy as a review, is that this particular individual is an extremely harsh critic (he readily admits to this himself).
I started your book and I'm very impressed with it, both with the quality of the writing and the nature of the content. It has a very Angel feel - informative and interesting and a slightly different view of the world than the one most people present. I really like the history of piercing part (and the myth exploding section). I found the personal quotes and side bars very powerful and, occasionally, disturbing. I'm going to read more today! I always find the writing of a book (an entire book!) an impressive accomplishment, but it's even more impressive when the book turns out so well. I am, of course, not in the least surprised. You are one of the smartest, most accomplished, hard working people I know. Once you told me you were writing a book - I knew it would be worth the reading. Chat soon!

I'm Stumped!

Today I was asked a piercing-related question that I didn't know the answer to:
My partner and I both have a PA, frenum ladder, and scrotum ladders. Our piercings are now at a stage were we have resumed a lot of our activities but when we were getting these piercings we did not think to ask this. Is it safe with these piercings for electric play or is the jewelry to much of a conductor? Any info you can give me on this would be appreciated. Thanks, Tony
My reply: Thanks for your email. To be honest, I'm really not sure. I think it might be best to contact the manufacturer or vendor of any toys or equipment you plan to use to get their recommendations. My guess would be that it shouldn't be a problem since the piercing (and the jewelry in it) has an entry and an exit. So, perhaps electricity might conduct through the jewelry, but not be sent deeper into the body? But I'm guessing here. Please let me know whatever you find out so the next time this question comes up, I'll have a more informed answer. If your supplier knows much about this and has any questions I might be able to answer (about body jewelry, for instance), feel free to put them in touch with me. Good luck and enjoy, Elayne

Now Available From the APP

The Association of Professional Piercers is now offering The Piercing Bible on their website. They are charging the cover price of $20.00, but you get a signed copy of my book, and 25% of the proceeds are donated to this worthy non-profit organization! To order cal 888-888-1APP or email info@safepiercing.org. I serve on the Board of Directors of the APP as Medical Liaison. Our mission is to disseminate vital health and safety information to piercers, piercees, medical professionals, and the general public. And there's no doubt that my book, The Piercing Bible, falls within the scope of that mission!

From A Piercer

I just received this message from a piercer:
Your book is incredible. you have done an amazing job. I am expanding my shop in July and we are hiring 2 counter people. I bought each of them a copy so they could study up for questions when I am not there. They both commented how well it was written. Great job.

Question About the VCH Piercing

I just received email from a reader who had a question or two about VCH piercings:
hello angel, I have emailed you before and I have your book--great book! I have been thinking about getting a VCH in a couple of weeks. I know you said in the book that you do not have to be stimulated in the clit to have this done. My question is would it be better to have this done so that I know how big the jewelry should be? I would like go  as big as I can in size. Also, can this be done without a receiving tube (free hand)? I have checked this out with a piercer and he said that it can. I would like your comments on this please. P.S. might be fun too....................karen in pa
Hi Karen, Different piercers use different techniques. I favor the receiving tube, but if your piercer is trained and experienced at freehand technique, then that should work fine. Because the piercing passes through so little tissue, the proper measurement for the jewelry is the distance between where the piercing will be placed and the edge of your clitoral hood. A skilled piercer will be able to determine the appropriate measurement with no problem. The hood area may actually shorten or draw back when you're stimulated, because it is primarily the clitoris that enlarges during arousal. (Think of how a foreskin works on a penis.) My principle is to start at a minimum gauge (14 or 12) to preserve the maximum tissue in the area and if desired, stretch later as your anatomy allows. The jewelry should fit properly when your piercing is fresh (the way it looks in the illustration in my book) and then you can go larger after healing, if you like. Good luck and let me know how it goes. Sincerely, Elayne

The Latest 5-Star review

5.0 out of 5 stars NoThInG CoMpArEs!!!, May 26, 2009 By M. Garabedian (Duarte, CA and Mesa, AZ USA) This is the most well put together collection of one persons knowledge and talent, I've ever seen. She hits on every point (no pun intended) you could think of to ask/know about. This is a must buy for anyone and I mean anyone looking into personal body mods or even for the person wanting to learn to appreciate the art of Piercing. Again MUST BUY!!!

Yes, ANOTHER 5-Star Review!

Yes, another review just came in. The woman who wrote it emailed me to tell me she'd posted a review:
I just posted a review of your book on Amazon and Google.  I have to tell you that I thoroughly enjoyed your book from start to finish. Oh, I am adding "salesperson" to my resume...   I was chatting with a friend of mine in the UK this afternoon and telling him about your book.  He is in the process of getting a 7 bar frenum ladder; he has 3 in place so far. Somehow, he wasn't aware that The Piercing Bible was available - while we were talking, he checked Amazon and made his purchase.  His cost was 15 pounds sterling so it is a great bargain there also! You know, I have learned so much from you.  As I read chapter 8, I realized why my first piercing didn't work; and I understand the look on the face of my second piercer (a member of the APP) as I described my first experience much better now! She was so kind and made sure that she emphasized to me that I had done nothing wrong to make my original piercing reject.
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